静静看着你

Ter recently did a cover of this song and I thought that it is so apt :( So, here'so my own interpretation of the song...

有一种旅行没有目的
(There is a kind of holiday with no destination)
有一种对话稍无声息
(There is a kind of conversation without a reply)
有一种等待不是等待
(You are waiting when there's nothing to wait for)
有一种曾经了无痕蹟
(We've gone through so much together, yet there were no memories)
有一种眼泪淌在心底
(There are tears at the bottom of my heart)
有一种痛楚就像呼吸
(There is pain everytime I breathe)
有一种守候仅是守候
(When I am by your side, I am really by your side)
有一种故事没有结局
(There is a story without an ending)

静静看着你
(Looking at your from afar)
隔着远远冷冷的空气
(In the midst of the distance and coldness between us)
静静看着你
(Looking at you from afar)
挂著轻轻浅浅的笑意
(I'm still hanging on with a smile)
兜著圈找不到那种距离
(The distance between us is too far apart that I can't see it)
不是你就是我那些刻意
(I'm confused on what's going on between us)
你手心的温度是犹豫
(I really don't know how you feel about me)

People have been helping me find more "friends", but my immediate response is to reject the invitation/offer. And I know the reason of such a reaction.

It's so funny, that after all these years, I can't seem to face reality or let you go. We have been creating so many memories of us together, but I know one day it will be destroyed like how a building collapses in an earthquake.

I've never been in a relationship, but I have loved and had heartaches before... The slightest thing makes me jealous and hurts me. It shows that you mean so much to me. I guess you can't exactly blame me for feeling this way.

When can I ever let you go?

Purpose

I guess I need to set my mind in the correct direction. After going through weeks of school, I realise that I'm not here to achieve good results (though, I hope I can). But more importantly is the process. Like learning stuff that I can apply next time at work, learn more about my working characteristics, and be happy in being youthful again.

Just hoping that I will have the opportunity to create radical changes and make the hospital a better place to receive treatment or to work in :)

At a blink of an eye, the year is coming to an end! It was almost a year ago where I went to Ward 71 for 2 months plus! Time really flies!! And very soon, I will graduate and hopefully get something worth recognising. So many expectations on me and I sincerely hope to do all these people proud. Never would I want to be known as the not-so-smart Maria. Or rather, I can don't be so smart, but I just wanna be genuine in the things I do and also be known as someone hardworking.

God is always my wisdom and my strength :)