I think right at this moment I am feeling the most shittiest I have ever felt in a long while :( I mean, I'm human right? I didn't make it for ANC promotion. This is the first promotion which requires an interview and I failed :( Thus the shitty feeling. A few colleagues had so much hope in me and genuinely believe that I could make it. But oh well I guess I let them down. I mean if the management monsters are really out to demoralise and not inspire your staff, then you can continue to do that. Got to admit I didn't exactly do well in selling myself. Like what Malcolm said, Singapore is all about selling. None of the interviewers knew all the shit I did nor how I had always turn up for work nor saw me at my best. I want to say that my resume had so many things that I did. Argh :(
As I began to express myself to the people close to me. I just thought that maybe this is not the place for me to stay. And maybe not promoting me makes it much easier to leave? God I'm not really sure what you have in stored for me. But I trust you and believe in what you want to do for my life. I still dream to work in a hospice and I guess maybe it's time to move on. It's time to create a new and better impression somewhere else, where I can be appreciated and where my ideas and intentions tally with the management. Of course I am very grateful to have grown and be nurtured here... But for now it's a torture to go to work T_T Getting picked on and all that. If I stick on to my beliefs, kenna. Don't stick to be beliefs also kenna :(
Anyway it's the covid-19 period and everyone's staying home except essential workers aka me :( They were asking for volunteers to help out in the foreign worker dormitories. I almost made it but at the last minute they rejected the ward nurses :( Maybe God wants to protect me, maybe He knows how horrible is to be in PPE all day, maybe He has other plans! I hope this period will be over soon!! I hope to update more here. Feel abit sian in writing actually. Heh....
I will end off this blog post with an encouraging verse!
1 Thessalonians 5:18 "in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (NAS)
Also, I hope the older me reading this blog post will laugh at my silliness, telling me now that the future me is doing awesome things in life! :)