Being Genuine and Sincere

I guess those are my strengths. Just mentioning what I am good at to boost my morale.. After working for almost 10 years as a staff nurse, I'm stuck in the same shit, however being condemned for what I am not good at. Who knows, if I were to be having another kind of job and working for 10 years, with a first class honours and having excellent performance at work (eg. doing shit my manager gives me, faithfully turning up for work), I would maybe take a managerial position or be someone well-recognised? Maybe? Come to think of it. My seniors at work who worked for 10 years were promoted and not treated like shit (or at least it seemed that way).

Recently I had conversations with random colleagues. Despite my weakness, they know my love for patients. You know, with one look you can tell if a nurse is just doing her work for the sake of doing it rather than out of love. I guess this is one perfect gift God has given to me and I will take note of it and treasure it :)

Okay, sorry for boasting but the egoistic person in me just love to burst out. I can't express it to anyone otherwise I will be known to be proud and snobbish so I am expressing it here. Heh... I've been doing some random research as my bond is going to end in 1 year and 9 months' time! Gosh! That is fast! But before resigning, I guess I want to deliver here to benefit from the benefits heh... Anyway, there are couple of things I would like to do. Work in a hospice, work in a nursing home, become a care manager in a day center, go into teaching. I just pray and hope the pay can sustain me though :/ I have not moved house yet, but I'm feeling the pinch by paying for maintenance fee, electrical and water bills, and in the future, internet bills.

Anyway I am emotionally ok now! But weeks back, I recorded You Say. I really appreciate the lyrics and it was SPOT ON how I was feeling at that time when I realised I failed my interview!

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me

In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity

Taking all I have and now I'm layin' it at Your feet

You'll have every failure God, You'll have every victory

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing

You say I am strong when I think I am weak

And You say I am held when I am falling short

And when I don't belong, oh, You say I am Yours