Crossroads = Dilemma = I hate it!

Sorry I have not been updating because I have been really tired from work! Been spending time on the computer only for 1-2 hours? But thank God for the weekends! Even though I need to wake up early tomorrow morning to serve in the church choir, I need not think of the standing of so many hours during work and case study to do!

Anyway, the past 2 weeks had been an enjoyable one for me, looking at both the positive and in the negative. I get to see life and death, all summed up in 2 weeks. Like what my father said, I have learnt things people won't get to see that often.

Also, I have done many stupid things which included cleaning the earring of a patient that didnt take it out for 490387 years, removing of hospital pjs from patient that was filled with fecal material, dropping the clipboards and taking BP when at times its not necessary!

Nice picture to show. Twins! :)
*insert picture here*

Ward 44 students including Ms Chia. She has been quite nice. Being understanding and sensitive when certain stuff happened to me during the week. Not forgetting XiaoPing and HuiYu with me!!! So cool huh, I actually get to work with a few of my classmates!My dad and his new workplace :) He's not exactly at NewCastle by the way. Haha.I soooooo aspire to get into a university one day! Most of the people of my age are entering now! You know lah, I have a problem with age. I don't wanna be slow! :( But too bad, I am.

Draw me away, to be closer to You...

Nursing ain't for the faint-hearted

Not that I'm emo-ing, but I just wanna express myself rather than keeping them all inside me! Well, I've been working in the gynae ward for 2 days already. I feel more useful as a student nurse there compared to obs!

But, sometimes it's real depressing to see certain things. I mean, it's a life? How can you just kill it, just like that? I understand certain special cases. That I can accept. But how about those who simply wanted to have fun? Heartless people, you just killed a life.

I saw with my own eyes, the little hand that could possibly be an alive baby in a few months' time. Imagine that the little hand could grasp my finger. Now, it's all lifeless, ready to be buried, burnt, used for research, whatever.

No personal grudges for me. Tomorrow I got to continue working with a positive working attitude. It all stops here.

No matter what may come my way like those horrible shift work, difficult things that I may have to do, getting blamed for the things others had done, seeing unhappy patients and many more, I still want to become a nurse. Why? I just love my job! :) Must I have a reason to love something?

I'll remember to be strong! :)

I can fly!!!

Who say I can't dance? Wahahahaa! Well, this picture also explains why I was able to fracture my arm at the age of 9. If only I could fly!!!
Sorry, I'm too lazy to post all the photos. Morning shift somemore!!! Anyway, went to Marina Barrage with clique! I was so happy to meet them up! We had a picnic. I enjoyed the food which included bee hoon, fish cake, honey glazed chicken wing, potato chips accompanied with cheese and cups of iced peach tea!

More than that, the networking was good :) We could just spend hours talking non-stop! I also managed to do some pre-GSS shopping. Hehe. Bought the items at half price!

Ok, I will only get to sleep 5 hours. I will go home immediatedly after work and take a nap before doing work! Maria, please start studying!

A Little Fall of Rain

I could not help but to post this, even though I'm working morning shift tomorrow! Well, on the bus to work everyday, I have been listening to this song. Really brings me to tears.

Ok, basically the story is like this... Eponine loves this guy Marius. Marius is aware of that but he loves Cosette. Eponine is aware of that as well! One day, Marius asked Eponine to help send a love letter to Cosette but she was shot.

Coming to Marius wounded, Eponine laid on Marius' arms. So finally, Eponine got to hear the words that she always longed to hear from Marius. Well, at least she died with no regrets because she was cared for by the guy she loved the last minutes of her life.

As the song ends, Eponine dies.

He will keep me safe, and he will keep me close, and rain will make the flowers grow.

Urgh!

Have I actually lost the liberty to be angry? Why can't I be angry and voice out certain things? If I did, I know words will be shot back at me. I've done it a trillion times. Maybe I should not this time round? Because that will cause difficulty to everyone else.

Maria, sometimes you got to hush hush. No matter how much you have been hurt, just keep quiet. Just go with the flow and nothing will go wrong. You don't wanna mess things up due to your pathetic emotions, don't you?

Think I am blunt? I have hundreds of things I wanna say, but I'm controlling myself.

Look on the bright side, meeting tonight was good and I got in! :)

Obstetrics

This picture lacks an infant. Heehee. A mom wannabe!Which brings me to what I wanna share today! :) The ward that I worked today was filled with moms and moms-to-be. Not forgetting the sharp cries of the little ones. I could not believe I was like that once in my life, so......... tiny!

Though I'm not so obsessed with babies, I had to stare at them because I don't see them everyday! Did nothing much during the first day. Just having bad times with the clinical instructor, AS USUAL. What's wrong with me huh. I'm extremely particular about it this time round as I really wanna push up my grades. Oh well. Not that I wanna be fake, but I need to show her that I really did observe and am totally interesterd in learning.

Had to wear the face mask throughout the 8 hours. It was kind of uncomfortable at first but I got used to it slowly! :) Better also lah, no one could see the horrible state of my mouth and I could make funny faces without anyone knowing.

I did something that stretched myself. I slept only for 2 hours before my morning shift! Thank God I survived, though I was going to faint when the clinical instructor exceeded my working time. Why am I not sleeping now? I have no idea. Ok, off I go.

Hoping for better days ahead...

KKH, here I come!

Yay! Malcolm bought this 2 items at a crumpler sale at Stuttgart. He told me to post this up actually. Anyway, thanks Malcolm! :DAttachments starts on Monday! It's not just another normal attachment but this time round I'm posted to KKH! So it's kind of like a "first day of work" to me! I hope I'll like EVERYTHING about KKH, including the little angels there :)

Need to do up some school work and study when I'm at home too! Not forgetting trips I have to go back to school for SoundCard. It's gonna be busy for me, but I like! :D

Happy and looking forward to the things that are coming my way! :)

A Late Mother's Day Post

I thank God for Mommy.

Well, it was just a normal Mother's Day for me until on Tuesday, I came across a piece of document at home that said it all...

I better treasure my Mommy even more.

It was actually the medical report of my Mom's accident in 1998. While going to church on the bus with her on a regular Sunday, the bus was approaching our stop. After Mommy stood up and before she could hold onto any handle, the bus driver applied an emergency break. As a result, she was thrown forward from the rear exit door all the way to the front door, beside the driver as well.

I saw with my own eyes this accident. Boy, I was so, so scared. Mommy yelled, "Help me! I'm in pain! I cannot move!" and other words that would follow after an injury of the back. There was this passer by who helped her and kept her calm. All I could do was to sit at the front seat and stare at her. I had that emotion of anxiety and fear. But I didn't know how to express myself, thus the staring. Thoughts flooded my mind.

What if she is going to die? What happens if she is going to be like popo(at that time), bed ridden for life? Am I going to be motherless? Who is going to look after me?

Thank God, she had a minor fracture at one of her backbone, L1 that was healed over a few months.

Right now, Mommy is cooking dinner and I can smell the garlic from my room. Yummy! I wonder how my life would be like if she had to leave me at that point of time. Back injuries are serious OKAY! Always a high probability of paralysis. From there, more complications will develop which will eventually lead to death.

I LOVE MOM.

Fun Nights!

Ah! I had fun with these 2 groups of people :DLast week, the few of us from SoundCard went to explore the school late at night. We visited the pitch dark lectures hall at block K, and attempted to sneak into the biology lab where all the cadavers were placed! Obviously, the lab was locked but it was thrilling to stand outside and be scared. (for nothing -__-) We are SO going to do it for SC camp! :D And can you imagine? I reached home at 12 midnight. @_@

A visit to O Bar!It was really an interesting experience! Let's do it again! But not everyweek of course.

I wonder why facebook is soooooo addictive! Everytime I close the window, I will still log into facebook! Okok, time to do work now!

CAN POLY LIFE BE ANY BETTER?!?!?! :D

I need discipline!

Ok, it took me 2 hours of surfing the net to eventually do 20 minutes of school work. Hahaha! Well, at least I do go through what I have learnt today! :D Yeah, I think revising what I have learnt during the day for at least half an hour is a good start for year 2! Argh, the modules are getting harder! Hope that this brain of mine will have the capacity to store all the infomation! I really wanna clean up the "mess" I created last semester.

Maria announces, "For the first time today, I reached home while it was still bright and managed to take an afternoon nap with aircon!" Yeah! I'm happy about that. Didn't do anything like that since school started man!

I wanted to donate blood as well. If I could donate, it would be my 8th time donating already. But, I AM ANEMIC! Ok, just kidding. My iron level was at a low level of 12.1g/dl. Only those of 12.5g/dl and above can donate. I was rejected by the nurse and referred to a burmese(dont know how to spell) doctor. She kindly gave me 2 packs of free iron tablets and sweetly told me that I do not have anemia. Haha.

There's seriously something wrong with my body. Not only do I have anemia, but I also have really dry lips that is getting drier and drier by the second. Recently I have this verticle slit at the middle of my lower lip. I always need to wash off the blood clots over that area once in awhile.

During Mental Health lecture, I suddenly thought of someone and was brought to tears. Oh dear. I do miss her. Well, I understand that things can never be like the way they were before. I could still remember the words she said to me before we "parted". Right now, it seems that those words no longer carry any meaning. I gotta accept reality.

Audition on Friday for a musical! Gosh, how many musicals are there man?!?! It's scary to make wishes. Hahaha :D

Good night world.

Cats the Musical by Andrew Llyod Webber

No matter how late it is right now, I need to post this. Hahaha. Yeah, like finally after more than a decade of waiting, I got to watch Cats(cos i was underaged to watch it at that time)! Yes! I enjoyed it throughly :) Really got to give it to the lighting crew for doing a perfect job! No matter how complicated it was, everything was done on time! Ya and in musicals, lightings tend to amaze me often. It's so sad that they are not usually acknowledged.

Hmmm, I didn't see any musicians playing for the musical. Neither did I see any conductor. Means they played by CD or something. It would be better with live music though :PSo who did I watch it with? Of course together with JingWei!! Wahahahaa.Hmmm, the storyline is actually quite ermmmm. I don't know how to describe it even! Hahaha. It's storyless! I guess I need to read the original book, "Old Possum's Book of Pratical Cats" to understand it more. The books talks about feline psychology and sociology. OKAY~

My favourite character in the musical is Rumpleteazer! She's actually a lil older than a kitten. So like a teen cat? But ah!!! Her voice is soooooo sweet when she sang the faster version of "Memory"! Her act with her brother doing the two man cartwheel is amazing! So small, yet she can in a way thrust a man upwards. Haha. Sorry, I don't know the name of the one who played her role though. Heh.

Nevertheless, the songs and the dancing were good! One has to be REALLY talented to be able to do both! Woooooaaah! The sopranos pratically made my hair stand! If only I could be as good as them. Hehe.

Here's the photo of the set. Feels all Christmasy right? :)After watching yet another musical, my passion and desire of being in one has GROWN!

Thank God.

I'm officially bonded under KK Hospital! Many thanks to Christine jiejie and whoever who has in a way helped me along the way :D

In KK Hospital, I saw all the medical healthcare workers wearing N95 masks, aprons and gloves! Oh dear, I really hope I don't have to look like that during my attachment in 2 weeks' time!