Purpose

I guess I need to set my mind in the correct direction. After going through weeks of school, I realise that I'm not here to achieve good results (though, I hope I can). But more importantly is the process. Like learning stuff that I can apply next time at work, learn more about my working characteristics, and be happy in being youthful again.

Just hoping that I will have the opportunity to create radical changes and make the hospital a better place to receive treatment or to work in :)

At a blink of an eye, the year is coming to an end! It was almost a year ago where I went to Ward 71 for 2 months plus! Time really flies!! And very soon, I will graduate and hopefully get something worth recognising. So many expectations on me and I sincerely hope to do all these people proud. Never would I want to be known as the not-so-smart Maria. Or rather, I can don't be so smart, but I just wanna be genuine in the things I do and also be known as someone hardworking.

God is always my wisdom and my strength :)

:(

Last night, I heard from my colleagues that a patient passed on. Well, she's not just a normal patient. She's someone with recurrent cancer in the midst of her pregnancy. The cancer was so aggressive that she needed a cycle of chemo with the baby inside! 2 weeks ago, an induced labour was performed and her child was delivered at 27 weeks. I feel really sad and burdened for her. Well, the funny thing is, I've not met or nursed her before.

This just makes me miss my patients who had passed on :'( Like within a year, a couple of patients that I knew quite well had moved on to the other side. I don't know but I seem to enjoy the process of genuinely knowing them and caring for them in their last days. I do have regrets though, like certain things I didn't manage to do for them.

I would like to continue to share the love. So Maria, go sign up and volunteer in a hospice!

Palliative care... Is that my calling?

1 month

It has been almost a month since I started school... Hmmm, well it's true that I am enjoying all my regular meals, full weekends and regular naps. BUT, something's missing. The feeling of stepping into the ward, checking equipments, having patients greeting me, setting IV plugs, getting pissed off at work and the list just goes on! Hahaha. I think I miss the interaction with my cancer patients the most... Especially my "old customers" :)

For now, I kinda feel meaningless :( I mean the school just whacks us with 2 assignments to complete for a month, with minimum contact time with the lecturers. Yes, the difficulty is there, a lot of time is spent doing work. But on days that I do not have activities and when I just do work, it feels so empty. Hmm, looks like I need to play it well the next term!! Start filling my days with activities yet balance work at the same time!! Maria you can do it!! By the way, I hope that I can PASS my first 2 assignments. Heehee...

I hope the remaining 22 months will be better! I should do the most out of this period of time! MARIA STOP SLEEPING LIKE A PIG! STOP IT!

Okthanksbye.

I'm 25

Yay!! Once again, at a blink of an eye, it's my birthday again!!! So many things to be thankful for :)

First up, 2 weeks of intensive lectures are finished!! I do feel stupid at times. Need to buck up seriously. But yeah, thankful to be given this chance to study and hopefully get my honours. And at the same time, have fun! Which I think I did... Hehe...

Had the lovely RE gang celebrating my birthday! I always feel so paiseh to have such attention. Hehehe. But I'm still happy that I always have this group of friends there for me!!!

Ta dah~~~ They deserve all my love! Muacks!

On my birthday, I got to attend Little Adelle's 1st month party! I love this photo actually, because I am carrying the baby!! :P People just assume that I look after neonates wahahahaha. Ok lor, then I should act confident and just carry the baby! And maybe I am also at the age of being able to be a mother :X But yeah! That's true!

And of course... I could not be happier than to attend dear Theresa's wedding! Looking so pretty!! Yay!! We should TOTALLY meet up this month! :D

My birthday wish remains the same I guess. But I have learnt to always be contented with what I have. Thankful for all who love me so much! :D I shall fight on!

Happiness

Very often, I conclude my life with so many 'what ifs' and 'if only'. You know, if we search for something that is too far away from us, we will tend to miss out what has always been close by. I am glad that these people have always been within my sight.

As a look back in life, being in JDC was one of the most greatest thing that had happened to me. I hope this moment would stay on for decades and decades. Definitely the best people to perform and hang out with :D

Thank you Terrence for creating JDC.

Work's Out, School's In!

So I ended work last week. The feeling was bitter-sweet.. Sweet because I do not need to do shift work for the next 2 years. I figured 4 years of accumulated shift work has made me a very tired person overall. Another thing is that I no need to tolerate the 2015 changes in the ward. Sigh, at times I do feel upset and would like to throw in the towel because of certain changes. Oh well, let's see what this 2 years of break can do for me...

But of course part of me do not want to leave because of my...... Patients :( Well, I won't miss any patient in particular but I just miss the times where I get to interact with them, care for them, send them my love and provide my nursing services to them. I think I told a whole lot of my patients that I will be studying(Yes, omg so my character to tell them everything! haha). Secondly I will miss my colleagues. But I guess it's not too bad because we still can keep in contact :D

Day 2 of school DONE. No pressure yet. But I secretly hope that advanced diploma will help me in a great extend! Come to think of it, advanced dip was CRAZY, yet manageable? Like we had to complete a few health assessment components, present 2 group projects, have a test and submit 1 assignment. Hoping that all will be GOOD this time. No unnecessary pressure please D:

Ok, shall be expecting more blog entries!!!

Counting Down...

I feel happy and excited as I start University life next week. Yet I feel upset that things are left unsettled :(

What I would miss most is patients greeting me the moment I come to work.

And I guess..... you....