... looks like I wasn't meant to have it.
I don't know why I am doing this to myself! But I just feel so disappointed about myself. Have I been giving myself false hope? Maybe I'm just over confident, way too much that I think I'm better than what I actually am. But was I no better 2 years ago? I still remember during a rehearsal when both of us were only in the room, she encouraged me to consider taking singing lessons. Like achieving until grade 8 that kind. When one asks you to take a step further in your thing, does it mean that you're good? Or bad? And then 2 years later, I wasn't considered, among 20 plus, only 4 were chosen. Actually I don't think I'll be affected if other people auditioned me, but her being the judge just made things worse.
Ok, it's just an audition. Maybe I wasn't prepared? Maybe the song wasn't really my type? Maybe there's a reason why it is better for me to back off and concentrate more in my career rather than to attend all the intensive rehearsals and go all crazy and tired.
Well, I would wanna look at the bright side. I need not run about during my actual graduation. I can sit nicely beside LingLi(if we're allocated according to reg no) and camwhore with our gowns. I can apply for 1 day off instead of many days that might be used for other schools or rehearsals. And the list can just go on...
Maybe this kinda thing isn't my thing anymore. Forget it Maria, you have your nursing career ahead of you...