So I went back to work after 2 lovely rest days. Saw one of my patient who was previously warded. I knew her well enough to remember her name. Even her daughter called me her "god daughter" when I approached the bed. But my heart totally sank when I saw her. I seriously could not recognise her with just a glance. From being slightly chubby, she is now as skinny as her bones.
She was just lying helplessly on the bed. Her husband would be by her side doing as what she wants. She was even too weak to speak properly. I smiled at her but she just could not bring herself to smile back at all, unlike the previous time I saw her. Somehow I know that her time is coming. All I could do was to just stand by her bed and hold her hands and hers holding mine tightly. I felt so sad and was very close to tears...
Well, that's a glimpse of my life in terms of working. Nursing is really not for the faint hearted. I am still coping and learning.
Maybe that's the reason why I wanna be a palliative nurse. It trains me to be a stronger person.