This is no joke. 20 more days till the actual day of the musical! But you know what, I still can't get into character. Like seriously, I don't know why! I know they are not pin-pointing me. They want the best out of me but I have seem to have let them down every single practice. You know what, I have never received any positive feedback on my acting since day 1. So what if I had past experiences? If you act bad, means you act bad. I hate myself sometimes...
I'm getting quite sick and tired of all these. I have never been so stressed about performing before. I really need a breakthrough.
Today in church, everyone is supposed to write down their desires/wishes for Christmas this year. Well, I didn't participate in it but what I really wish deep down in my heart is to be a good actress. This is all that matters to me for now.
I'm really glad that my annual leave is round the corner. I can really have the time to be at home and work on my character and lines. I feel that sometimes being so tired from work hinders me from practicing on my own.
At the end of the musical, I just wanna look back and be so darn proud of myself that I have broken through(if theres such a word).
God, please help me. I want a breakthrough desperately.