Thoughts in my mind these few days at work:
"Excuse me, you of little knowledge. Please don't accuse me for not checking the controlled drugs(CD) when it is 5 minutes to work. I am always one of the earlier staff who will come into the ward and check the other stuff and equipments. I can proudly say that I ALWAYS check and document things properly without missing out on anything. You don't. You only come to work on time with your sulky face. If different people are assigned to check the CD assigned by sister, I believe it should be the responsibility of that person to do so. That person should come earlier than usual to check the CD. I just want to inculcate some sense of responsibility to the others. When the new roster is out, I always flip to check when is my turn to check the CD. Of course, I am more willing to help that assigned person called up the ward to say that she will be late and needs someone else to check the CD on her behalf. So if you think I'm lazy and have the heck-care attitude, please go flip through the paper/checklist. My name is there most of the time."
"Sometimes I wish you could keep your mouth shut. You are blunt, insensitive, proud and annoying. Things that you say offend me, even though I take it as a joke and don't show it. It seems that you can do certain things to others. But if others do it unto you, you get pissed of and throw your princess tantrums. You like to magnify people's mistake and that makes you feel "good" about yourself. But when you make any mistake and it gets pointed out, you argue and try very hard to twist the story. If I had the guts, I would love to despise you. But God is love and I'm a scardy cat. Just waiting for the day you submit the letter."
"Through another colleague's opinion, I have been slightly biased. I wish that you could stop putting on this act and just be genuine. No one really bothers how smart you are. I could appreciate if you could stop whining and also snatching MY patients from me, cos they are supposed to like me, not you.(that's a stupid thing to be jealous about, HAHAHAHHA!) You can go suck up to the seniors and the managers, but not to my patients. Would appreciate that. Thanks!"
"I feel that we're drifting apart :( Are you treating me like that because my behaviour sucks and you are turned off or you are promoted and you just got to maintain that "coolness"? It was never my intention to gain anything from being close to you. I just want a good and genuine relationship with you. I am always grateful for all the opportunities you have given me to shine. Yes, I'm happy but most importantly, I want you to see the real me. The careless, imperfect, scatterbrained Maria. I hope things would out better..."
Disclaimer: The entry is written on impulse. If you feel guilty and realise that I am talking about you and you would want to accuse me, I will deny everything. Anyway, I assume that this blog is not known to any of my colleagues.
Thank you for your attention.