My First Kiss

I guess whatever happens in Manchester stays in Manchester. You can call me crazy. Yes. I went out on a date with an Englishman (sort of). I'm not boasting, but he is really crazy about me. He admires me like crazy. Well how do I feel about him? The feeling is "I don't know". I don't like him as much as the guys I used to like. But maybe in a few more dates, I would be able to tell? Then again, I know I can't like him. There isn't any future for us. Sad reality yeah...

We held hands, cuddled and kissed. God. I am so new to this. Never interlaced fingers with anyone before. Never had someone stroking the back of my palms with their fingers before. Never had my lips pressed against someone else's one.

I feel emotional. Why does anyone for the past 26 years of my life not like me like he does? Why do I need to fly all the way to Manchester to know how it is like to be liked? :(

I promise myself to bring back sweet memories. Yes I will.

What have I done?

A simple chat made me end up in a messed up situation :( Nobody said such nice things to be before. Nobody told me that I am beautiful and attractive. Nobody openly confessed that they like me. This is why I give in. People who adore me deserves my respect, attention and love. 

This is where I start to take the wrong step. I know things are not going to work out for us. First, it feels so wrong. So, so wrong. Then distance will give us problems. Cultural and religious differences will also be in the way of a happy relationship.

I'm just playing with my heart and feelings. Gosh. Why did I even end up in this :( At time same time, it's something new that I am experiencing and learning.

I want to leave Manchester with happy memories. Will this be a happy or a heart-wrenching one? :(