WCSG Outing

This year felt a little different because I was to organiser :) I had to coordinate so many things and deal with so many people. Hahaha but I glad that it was a success and I am very thankful for the people who stepped out and helped me so much!

Attempted to take artistic shots but I guess I do need room for improvement... The beautiful orchid caught my eye though. So purple... So perfect :)

This shot of Cheryl reminds me of June from Tarzen. Hehehe...

Us surrounded by beautiful orchids :) Muacks muacks muacks!

I think I was more interested in taking paparazzi shots of people hehehe.... Like this one for example! :P

I need more events to take nice photos eh..... Till then.

For Kat

Some friends are worth treasuring...

I am happy that she's moving on to pursue what she wants. Yet at the same time, I'll miss this "working relationship" and weekly dance encounters with her.

I really do hope that this would not be the end of our friendship. In fact, more time will be spent together when time permits.

Thank you for all you have done, Kat.

Felina's Wedding

Right now, I am at a point in life where most of the people around me are getting married.. Of course, I do get the pressure. But... LALALA I DON'T CARE! I AM HAPPY BEING A PRETTY BACHELORETTE.

Anyway, congrats to my cousin!~

This shot with mommy is so nice! Loving her natural smile at the camera (for once!)

The cousins... We are all so BIG now!!!

And the older ones.... Some of them are already grandparents. And grandparents-to-be....

Alright, on night shift(again) tonight.... Time to sleep. I hope I can sleep!!!

A post-MTV project photoshoot

We planned and practiced the song last year in April, we recorded it in October and April this year, we finally did the video recording!~ Can't wait to share it around. Ok, I don't expect to have thousands of likes, but I just love sharing what I love doing! :D

Anyways, after the video recording, Roy wanted to take 15 minutes to do a lil photoshoot, since we had the equipment and the pretty clothes/makeup with us! And the 15 minutes became 1 hour. Hehehehe...

Roy & I! We have been awesome friends for the past 8 years!!!

A nice emo shot... Heh.. If only I wore something nicer hor :/

One of my favourite shots!!! :DDD

Hope there will be more chances to take such shots!~ It's not that I am full of narcissism, but I enjoy appreciating these shots!~ Yeah!!! In the years to come, I will have such a pleasant time looking back at these photos!

Ok, shall crash now because I still have not recovered from the 30 hours I did not sleep after my night shift @_@

Grateful

It all started when my manager told me to fill up an application form in November last year. All I had was hope. There was so much difficulty in even filling up the application form that I almost wanted to give up.

Then came the hospital interview in February... I did so badly and embarrassed myself in front of the interviewers. I showed them ineloquent I was. I really thought that I was not going to make it. And it was true that I did not do well. But somehow, the interviewers decided to let me pass.

Lastly, was the school's interview where I was stopped while talking halfway because the interviewer felt that I was not answering what they wanted me to answer :/

Despite all these cock ups, I made it.

I can officially say that I am a "scholar"! :) Ok, I am not a scholar scholar, but I feel like it because the hospital is gonna pay for my school fees.

Ever since I started to work, it was my dream to have my degree sponsored by the hospital. I've come to realise that not everyone can get this chance. My "seniors" seemed to be really high flyers and smart asses. Despite my not-so-fantastic results in school, and my so-so performance at work, God met the desires of my heart and gave it to me.

My manager was the one who had so much confidence in me, encouraged me that I could do it, gave me opportunities to shine and be known and initiated this sponsorship thing. I can never thank her enough(which explains why she means the world to me). We have this joke, that I owe her my lifetime of service and dedication to her. But this is so true. I really owe it to her.

I am very thankful and grateful for this. I hear from people that it's not going to be easy. But let this journey help me grow and groom me to be the best Maria that I can ever be.

Thank you Jesus.

My Prayer

Tomorrow is the day where we find out if it's positive or negative. The result will either make her the happiest person in the world, or tear her apart. For me, it's either continuing this wonderful partnership or leaving her forever :'( Urgh, the thought of it scares me. It really does.

God however, is wonderful. I want to believe that God has a plan. As we were talking in her house last Saturday, she actually asked what I do in church. I shared the usual stuff we do and also mentioned that it is a place where we are reminded how much God is here for us. For the past year or so, it has always been my desire to introduce Christ to her. Given my situation, it wasn't really easy and I felt resistance. But that day, she could ask me about church. An open door. God, are you doing something? Lead me to do Your will.

Very very very nervous for the upcoming results! Lord, do a work in this situation please.

Holding Space

Recently, someone very close to my heart has been going through a time of sadness, depression, and well, everything negative. I am happy that she shared with me, because it proved how significant I am to her. Yet at the same time, I feel so burdened, I feel so sad. Most of the time, I ask myself... Why am I not the one having the sickness? Why her? Yes. I love her that much to say that...

I did establish to her that I will be there for her no matter what. I will be by her side. As much as I can, I will go through everything with her. I know that I am not a good counsellor. But if it's doing things within my limits, I am willing to do it. Sigh... It's so hard to talk to people. I've always had this problem. I feel so ineloquent. All I could do was to give her a big hug.

What made this situation worse was her partner. I feel enraged. Stupid. Irrational. Why.... Why is religion destroying people? I am really angry. Really, really angry. Come on. We deal with sick people everyday. We encounter medical stuff. Even a dumb person would know that early detection is always a good thing. Or at least, confirming the existence(or not) of the sickness reassures the person. Don't tell me if you go investigate the sickness, one's fate will change, and it will be a bad one. What bullshit is this. And when she needs you the most at home, you are out of the house attending praying sessions. What kind of shit support is this? This is really tearing her apart. It hurts me to see her like this.

I am as scared as her about the results. If it were to be positive, many things will change. She would be going to a place far away and I might not see her anymore. I even had a vision... In the airport, during her departure. I had never cried so badly in public before. All the things that we wanted to do in the future..... Gone.... Running the nursing home/hospice together. Having my kid to call her god-ma. I wouldn't be able to see her on a daily basis anymore~ Then again, I was reminded not to be selfish. I might have to let her go..

Recently, someone sent me an article about "Holding Space" which means to support the person, no matter what decision he/she makes. She might make certain decisions due to her circumstance. And as a person who really loves her, I should support whatever choices she makes. It's hard but I am trying.

God... If You are really there, please let the results be negative. It's something that I beg of you. Let Your peace come upon her. Help her... Like how you would help me. Teach me to support her appropriately and don't make me too emotional. You know... You can take away my desires from me. Just let her be sick-free.

Sigh, at times like this, I do think that I overreact and get too emotional. But the reason is because I love her. She has done so much for me. She influenced me so much the past 4 years. She has doted on me since day 1. She made me who I am today.

I love her... I really, really love her. Please don't take her away from me...