Hello and guess what I had today? POS practice. Kinda excited already. Performing in 2 days time! Whee! Hehehehe! The west people rawk mann! We're extremly naughty and childish but I like it! Wahahaha. Never have I been so childish before this year. And also all the funny funny jokes the brothers would come up with. So happy to know such people :) I think its ok if we do not win but at least our friendship stills stay forever!

In the morning went to school for D and T *again* But instead of making the artefact, I went up to the music room to have some fun... Wahahaha. Miss the choir so much. But now a "graduated senior" I can slag here and there! HAHAA!

Tomorrow doing EXCATLY the same thing... Going to school for D and T and having my POS preview. SO TIRED!

Whoa... It's the holidays and I'm still super tired! POS POS and POS. ARGGGHHH! The day is coming soon. So excited! But tired! Boohoohoo. Gonna have panda eyes very soon!

In the morning went to school for D and T. I tell you, can be sick of it one leh! Do and do and do and do until so sian... But no choice. Exam mah. Doing some superduper complicated mechnism(sp) even me myself I dont understand at all. The teachers are helping me out... Cant like object them also. They are helping me to score.

After that went for POS practice in NTU. Hohoho. When I went there, they were all slagging. Anyway late in the night we had this talk talk thing. Grrrr, I hate such things. Where everybody cries and whatever. But I think it bonds us together.. Hehehe.

Always excluded in things... SIGH! It always happen to me!! WHY?!??!?! :(

What a LONG day today... Woke up early in the morning to have service. After service had POS preview. Hahaha, was kinda fun :D But west didnt really do a good job. Hehehe. Saw SOMEONE from NUS. Hahaha. I was so amazed that she can really cheer lead. Hahaha. Really love her smile :) How I wish she could always smile like that at me.



Went to John's house to make some last minute props. Had some fun time though.








ChinHo!!! :)






The adorable KahKeong! :) Always full of crap!









Justin the most happening dancer!!





My bodyguards! I know the top does not match the skirt. That's my POS costume! Cant really stand the short skirt :

This is my amazing west cluster IC!!! :))

Never have so much fun with people around my same age but of different schools. Hehehe. These guys are great! Eh, I was the only sister there. I'm not a flirt okie. Hahaha. Never regretted joining POS. Whee!

Tomorrow got lessons! SIIIAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!

Source: Maria's Report Book 2006

Maria communicates confidently with her superiors and peers. As a class chairperson, she surfaces new ideas from a different perspective. Maria is able to say the right things at the right time and uses the knowledge learnt and apply it to new situations. She is able to find positive humor and as a leader, shows persistance in the duties and work given to her. She is able to act indepandently and upholds justice at all times. Maria has demostrated commendable performance and has a strong moral value that guide her decisions and actions. She is dedicated and honours all commitments.

I smiled after reading this :DD My 2 teachers really put in a lot of effort writing this down. Feel so touched. But am I that good? Never put anything negetive... Thanks for boosting my self-confidence!

Source: Maria's Report Book 2003

Maria has the potential to be very self-disciplined. She is generally well-behaved in class and needs to spend more time on the studies. She has to potential to excel.

Hahaha, my behaviour DID improve in school ya. Cos of October 2003 when my life changed! :DD Now I can openly say that Maria is a good girl!!! Yeah!

Yeap! Completed my time table already. Seesh, I have a lot of activities... No time to stone around. Wahahaha. Now, I cant tahan my room! I think it's worse than a pig sty. Hahaha. I'm a stoopid pig. I will treasure this holiday! Not forgetting, EMEGRE! tuo ying er chu!! I've learnt a new Chinese phrase. And I'll try my best to swim 3 times a week! So that I will slim down more!

Recently, a few of my friends have been getting into relationships and this is how I feel about it. Not shooting anyone but I hope that what I say will make you think about it.. To me, a successful relationship is when you eventually get to marry the opposite party. So if you think you will never marry that person and live with him/her for the rest of your life, forget it. What for put your heart in this person and get hurt when you have a break up? It will hurt yourself more. Besides, I dont want to be hugged, kissed or whatever by a person whom I will eventually break up with. Break ups are when both parties find they are not meant to be together just before getting married. Not because it's time to stop it. Well, normal teenagers will obviously think that I am wrong... I have no idea why. Sometimes I wish I can be one of them. Want someone to care for you? Find a good friend. Unless you're so desprate for physical touch, I have nothing say.

I'm not jealous okay... I have someone I really love and the person never fails to love me either. Willing to live my life for HIM!!! This life for me, live it to the best! :D Hope anyone will think through what I have said.

Service tomorrow followed by POS preview! So excited! :) HEHEHE!

I'm super full now. Just ate 3 bowls of century egg porriadge... I love it okay. Mommy cooked it. Abit tired now. I sound like a pig! Eat and sleep, eat and sleep.... Have yet to clean my room and set my time table! The real work starts on Monday. So for the time being, RELAX! :))

Had cgm just now... Was super good! I wonder why people are not intrested in christianity(sp) It's not a religion but it's relationship between you and God! If He's a God that dosent do anything and you dont have encounters with Him, I have nothing to say.. But He's just so real! He heals people and do many amazing miricles which will even scare me. If the hearts of the people around me be softened.... That would be so amazing.

Sometimes I dont know if I should be angry a not... Feel like complaining but what do I get out of it even when I complain? It's already over anyway. Siggghh...

Taking a nap now!!!

Good morning! Whee! Have been eating this morning like crazy. Ate 2 dumplings, drank a bottle off green tea and ate strawberries. Looks like I need to exercise more :\ Anyway, I'm simply just stoning around. Kinda tired now. Dont feel like packing my room. Suppose to do up my time table for my holidays! ARRGH!! Okie.. I think I better stop stoning anymore..






My D and T artefact! It's a hankerchief dispenser...







Me and Kezia!!! :D



Going to do my stuff. Blahblahblah..

Hahaha, PTM was fun! Kinda fast though. It's cool having PTM to me lah.. You get to hear how the teacher feels about you and how you behave in class. Hmm, maybe to a certain extent. Went to see my Chinese teacher.. She suspected that I might have a boyfriend due the poor marks I got for Chinese -.- She could have given 1 million other reasons but why me having a boyfriend??? HAhaha. Funny...

During school hours, me and someone had a conversation with each other. Ya, the bracelet broke... Does it represent something? Breaking up of friendship? We reminded each other of the fun times we had together.. Sigghhhh. Too bad I didnt really treasure those times. Anyway, what was done, was done. Now I just have to move on.

After PTM went to my late grandma's house cos we're selling it away. Really miss that place! I still remember that everyweek our family would visit my grandma after church as it is rather nearby. I just walked around the house, visualising grandma would clean the house and do her stuff. I would definately be her best grand daughter if she were still alive... Looking forward to see you.......

Hope you like the carrot cake :)

Yay... I'm finally back from school in the afternoon! And today's the last day of school for term 2! Hmm, I still remembered those times when I just started sec4. Ok whatever.. But the HOLIDAYS! Hehehe, always a time to breakthru! Yeah!

Got to see the report books just before school ended. Was rather upset with CCA point system... Cos I join GB and Choir... My friends who joined GB only got a B3 but I got a C5 instead! Me and my friends attended the same number of practices. Sometimes, I came but they did not turn up. Was complaining like a complain queen! I mean, who wouldent be unhappy about it? Contributed so much to it and get nothing out of it..

On my way home, I thought to myself, "Did I participate in whatever activities because of my heart wanting to do so or just simply, the CCA points?" I recalled reading a book, 'The Key To Leadership' (i think that's the title) by Phil Pringle. The 1st chapter was servanthood... Would you only think about just me, myself and I or put others (CCA) before you? It really strucked me! Yes I agree CCA points do minus from the O level score. But frankily speaking, if you deserve to have something, you will definately get it, in any form. And I broke free from this bondage! This lesson also taught me to humble myself. Sometimes when people ask you about grade or whatever, I would always be "showing off" it's time for me to become as humble as a lamb.

Seesh, you do have to pay a price learning such lessons... But I believe that I can still get into Nayang Poly's nursing course, with or without the CCA points! Just 1 or 2 miserable points. What big difference dies it make to me? Just have to really put in extra extra effort for my exams.

About the acadimic results, can cry... I didnt get 33 in level position. I got 41. I really, really dropped. But I'm gonna believe that I can do better the next time round! Read someone's blog and was touched by it..

Be comforted with the fact that God believes in re-tests. We don't have to live with the "F" of Failure or even an average grade of a "C" for just plain Common. God is into perfecting us. He wants to give a "B" when we do our Best or an "A" when we rise Above the world. I want my final grade to be A+. May my life be All About the Almighty. Unfortunately we have to take the same test many times before we get the ever-coveted A. Always remember, God wants to say, "Well done my faithful one."

When the test is over at the end of the day - I want to know I did my best. I want God to be pleased with me.

Thanks Sister Phoebe! :D

To sum up this whole enrty, I have to be just simply, pruud of myself! :)) Going back to school for my mom to meet my teacher! :D

I'm like super duper tired lor. YAWN. Been having POS practice these 4 days. Been reaching home at about 10plus in the night. I'm not surprise when my mom calls me and asks me why I am not back yet. But actually the main reason for reaching home late would be, FELLOWSHIP! Fun hanging out with you guys! West cluster rocks!

Earlier today I was kinda sad lah... Going through such a low point in my life, the least people around me could do was not to mock at me. I dont mind jokes once in awhile, honestly. But I'll just get irritated and even hurt when your peers scold you or even physically abuse you. And you tell them to stop it, they never.. There I go saying sarcastically, "I love the world!" Ha-ha-ha. Could not control myself and sobbed for a moment thinking, "Am I really that stupid? Why did my studies drop? Will I be able to do well in the future? I even have problems doing a task properly..."

There was someone who recently asked me, "Who do you go to when you're down?" I thought to myself and realise that the answer is no one. Yes I think I am fine kepping certain things to myself but as the negative voices enters my ear, I feel terribly worse... I would always feel better when weeping my troubles into someone's ear but is never given a chance cos not many people would be intrested in my life.

Can I say that I am desprate for............ attention?? Maybe dreaming will help me do whatever a want. I love dreamss...

I seriously dont know what's up with me. ARGGHH. Well, after recess was physics lesson. Came for lesson rather late due to some reason. Was rushing up the stairs like nobody's business. Unfortunately, saw someone that I was not suppose to bump into, my form teacher. Yes, I was so shocked when I saw her! I felt very bad too... Didn't say a word to her. I so didnt know what was over me! The expression was expressionless. Soon, she walked away just like that. I really, really feel so bad about it. And I coulden't believe that the people who came later then me could bluff their was through :\ What was I doing? Feeling so guilty and making people more angry and fustrated. I'm really sorry ok. I dont know how to face you tomorrow. Seeeeeeeessssshhhh!

After school went to the D and T workshop! Nobody stayed back so Mr Hoe help me only! So cool! And again, I'm a step ahead than the rest!

As people begin to ask me what was the level position I achieved, I thought, "Studied and hardest yet got the worst results" Why must it be like that!?!?!?!?! You mean those hours studying in Macs has gone down the drain? Maybe I disappointed those people who personally came to coach me. If I really wanna breakthru, I have to do something but, what? :
Today's PM was a blast! I'm totally pumped up for emerge already. Whee! I love west cluster! Hehehe. Really never regret joining POS. Got to know more people, know how to do stunts and dance with loads of energy! I will definately join next year too! :)))

At least I'm at home before 10 today... Yeah! Got time to rest and :DD

Hello! Kinda tired today. Hmm, more of disappointing today lah. It just so happened that I got to check through the overall marks of mid-years. Sigh... I got 22nd out of the 42 people in my class. It's very demoralising... It's like you studied the hardest so far and you got the worst results you ever had. Arrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh. Why is it so like that?!??!? Felt like banging my head against the wall screaming my head off OR just going to sleep and dream of what I aspired to have. I seriously, seriously, seriously need help! I am even beginning to feel that what I'm studying is so not enough. Must study more. Being some moronic student right now..

After school I sastisfied myself by dropping by the D and T room to complete my artefact. Heehehe. The workshop people are always the nicest. They joke with you, help you a lot and sometimes scold me for doing the wrong thing. But they're nice people lah. YAY. At least I'm more assured that I am one step ahead from the other people who did not stay back.

And after that went to Changi Airport. Argh! How I wish that I'd live near the East. Grrr, pratically wasting my time travelling. Went airport to fetch my leader from Taiwan! Heard many intresting stories from him. Hehehe.

So here I am, stonning around.. Getting real sleepy. Maybe I do need a break from the various activities. I feel the my English is deproving. So I must blog more with apprropritate(sp) words and SPELLING! *faints* Blahblahblah..

Had a GREAT time today! Yeah! Early morning my Sunday started out with serivce! I LOVED THE SERVICE! WOOHOO. I'm meant to be comtempory and secular... Sometimes one cannot be sooooo religious. Seesh, cant stand religious people either. After service had fellowship over at expo foodcourt. Kinda sick of the food there. Hehehe. And then went back for prayer meeting. The 2hrs seemed like a few mins. So short lor. Hahaha.

And now, the best part! Sister Angel, Phoebe, Kenneth, Jun Wei, Darius and I went to town! I was kind of a last minute one. We planned it on the spot. Hehehe. Went to Cineleisure for dinner! Ate in this Japanese Restaurant. Heehee.















I ordered Unagi Ramen. Hehehe.






We were all in love with this car and will be watching the movie soon! WHEE!







Went downstairs to Mistro Bistro for ice-cream! We were trying to act cute. Hahaha. I have long hair!! Doing that disgusting Sylvester Lim pose. YUCKS.







Gluttons!!!








We were watching some old disney films on the tv. Hehe. Quite funny so we laughed.. Hahaha. Recalled my childhood. Hahaha.







I'm reserved! Shhhh!









All of us! Really enjoyed the company! :D











Can't wait till June 9. YEAH!



So this is how I spent my lovely Sunday! I wish that every Sunday could be like this! HEEHEE! But I think I have to study during the weekends soon. Sad.... I'm gonna perish tomorrow. ARGH!

Today's cgm was indeed light-hearted. I really, really, really loved cgm. Thanks sister Phoebe ;) Really love the word you gave today!

After cgm, had a post-exam party! WHEE! I'm so proud cos I cooked most of the food! Hehehe. Maybe I can be like my mom one day yeah. Was kinda irritated. Cos all were crowding in the kitchen, helping or not. But I "chased" them out. Now, I know how my mom feels when I enter her kitchen esp when I'm not helping. HAHAHA. But generally, I had a great time!

Yeah yeah, taking a nap and I'm gonna do my homework after that. 1st time so free after cgm. WAHAHAHA.

You're my light! :)










Me and Kezia! We love the west cluster!

Super duper tired! Having POS practices like never before... Yesterday was the worst. Right after school, John, Kah Keong and I went to city hall to look for cloth for the costumes. Whoa. Super tiring okay. Thank God I'm a sister, I dont have to carry the cloth all the way back. We were walking under the hot sun for 30mins. Hahaha. They're jokes are super funny. I wonder why the people in my class cant make those funny jokes too. Anyway, the cloth was super expensive! O.O We had to go all the way back by public transport. Seesh. And in boon lay, it was raining. I was kinda sick and had a very bad headache.

Had POS practice. Blahblah. South and North cluster were using the main audi too. By looking at them, I think west cluster will win! NOT! Wahahaha. I see the way they perform, can cry one! Oh well, I hope we wont get 4th AGAIN. Maybe not lah.. When I'm in, west cluster will never lose! HAHAHA.

By 10 plus, my headache was killing me! Too a cab home. Argh. I cant believe I wasted $7.30 for a transport home! Didnt go online at all last night and went strighat to sleep. But, I'm ok now! :D Having cgm at my place! WHEE!

Just came back from POS practice! WOOHOO! West cluster rocks! Yeahh! Learnt the new dance for the 2nd song.. Very tiring! It made me realise that I can dance. Whahahaha. Very contempary lor. In the past I only knew how to dance cha-cha and waltz. Hahahha. Hope that west will win! Whee! Kinda excited.. Cos it would be my 1st time performing in front of the church.

Tomorrow there's school! Urgh. Going to see all my papers. Hope everything will be okay...

Feeling kinda better already... I told you, time heals :) But I just wonder how am I going to face tomorrow. I'm gonna have all my papers back! I hope my teachers counted the marks wrongly or something like that. So I'll have more marks! I wanna overcome my emotions!

Still very confused. Unsure of who to believe and trust. The world isnt nice! Full of lies, complications, everything that is wrong! Sometimes I hope that I can leave here. If you know you're not doing anything wrong, you need not hide anything from me right?

Yesterday had POS practice. I'll have it today and tomorrow too. Intensive training... Slowly I am beginning to love the WEST CLUSTER! :D YAY! Got to know more friends. Hehehe! We're all wanting to see revival in the west!

Choir has been staying everyday for intense practice. Poor them.. Heh, thank God I can leave anytime I want. Yeah. Maybe I'll stay together with them but will leave early. And with that, the choir won't miss me! HAHA. They seem to be doing badly without us. I wonder why. They can be like us if they want what. Hahaha. Kinda worried.

Had a very funny dream last night... The GB wanted girls to help out in being inside the contigen for SYF (so lame right) And obviouly I was arguing... The choir would not allow me to be in the SYF choir and I didnt want to cos I wanted to concentrate on my studies and you want me to help out GB?! I was super angry lah! Was forced to do so. I had no choice. So I went, and happen to sit near the choir during some briefing. I was trying best to hide myself from my choir. Too bad, someone saw me. She was so happy to see my and I was so -.- And the 2nd part of the dream is that I quarreled with someone. Hahaha. I very much want it happen in reality cos I hate that group of people! I wanna be as far away from them! Instead of making me grow up, they make me blow up! Grrrr, seriously can't stand them. REGRET KNOWING THEM! Sorry, I cannot change my mindset about them.

I'm not that fierce okay. Haha. There was 1 time my sec1 junior thought I was an ah lian. An English speaking ah lian! HAHA! I dont dress sexy, dont go to orchard everyday and try my best not to use foul language and you think I'm an ah lian?! Very cute hor. I wont hate you until to continually piss me off for the past 3 1/2 years. Dont talk about them lah. Their names arent fit to be mentioned in my mouth.

Cant wait for EMERGE! Whee! :DD

Just don't know why things are like that. I know life is full of ups and downs and I believe this is the "down" period... Yeahh. Got back most of my results.. Didn't do fantastically well. In fact, I'm kinda disappointed. I wonder why things are like that. Why would my standerd be almost the same standerd as those who didn't study for exams? You mean all my hours of studying as gone down the drain? I have been reminding myself that I can always try better but deep inside, I'm very disappointed and depressed. It's the fact that I didn't do well. I really wanna do well, I really wanna do well. People placed their hopes in me that I'll be one of the top student for N levels(not being a show off). I thought I could do it also but I just dont know how I can make it... Anyone, please help me.

Not here to make people sad after reading this entry but well, it's something deep inside me where I can't show to the people around me cos I wanna put a brave front to encourage others. And I cannot understand why teachers arent paniking(sp). They're so relaxed and calm. I mean if you get a C for your exam it's ok?? Is my standerd that high? I wonder...

Very tired... Once again, I wanna dream again. You can do anything you want, no boundaries, nothing impossible... And I dream and dream......

Urgh, exams are over and I'm still busy. Hahaha. Busy with what? CHOIR!!! But today, passed down my role! Feel so relaxed now! Whee! It's like finally lah! Those months of scolding, being mocked at, shy to speak in front of the choir and simply being crazy.... Ahhh, miss those times. But as a leader in choir, it really taught me to be bold.. To be able to speak in front of a crowd, to tell them what to do and what not to do, encourage them when they need help. Also the main thing, to be able to sing confidently! The BBSS choir certainly changed my life! Got to know PEOPLE TOO :D Why am I saying all these?! I have have one year what. Wahaha. But still I'm gonna miss me lil juniors!

After choir practice rushed down to Lavander Street.. Went to visit a wake. The room was beside my grandmom's room where she used to occupy. Was recalling the wake I stayed throughout earlier this year. Well, the service was kinda touching. Cos my grandmom's funeral service was in Cantonese which I totally didn't understand. But today heard the English version! I sort of teared a little. Reminded me of my grandma... She looked abit like her! I miss her now. I think they're now in heaven enjoying themselves.

Lesson time was like -.- We simply did nothing! Should have bring some story book or whatever. Wahahha. Very, very tired! Yawn!

If I could not sing, I WOULD DANCE :DD

Today had this time and stress management workshop. Was a bit -.- I slept for a period cos I was seriously and the course was _______. Yeah, hahaha! And my butt hurts! Sitting on the floor for hours. Nothing beats a conference or service when there's revelation added. Our brain works only small percentage by intellengence but the rest by revelation. Wow.. A revelation indeed!

After the workshop had choir practice... Abit sian already lah. But became excited when we started dancing! :DD Saw all the choir members, looked so sian.. (cos I wasnt leading them) HAHAHAHA! And when I added some jokes, they laughed and I saw smiles on their faces. Oh well, gonna miss the people!

*faints*

I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really LOVE THEM! :DD

Would I be able to sleep soundly tonight again? I really just wanna find out the truth.. Nevermind if it's good or bad, I want the truth! I rather be hurt/angry by knowing the true answer than being cheated by the lies.. My feelings are so mixed and I just don't know who to trust. Argh! Help me.

Help me. Help me!

Me and Victoria! We used to grow up in the same cg... But now, not really.. *Sniffs*
I love you Vicky!








Ziqing, Victoria and I!










Me and Madeline! We're placed here for a reason! :D









I was still wondering what I should wear after clarifying what we should wear for 20th anniversary dinner... It's smart casual! But I'm afriad I wear too formal and everyone will like stare at me... Lisa passed me her tube dress today. I think it looks fantastic! :D


Excuse me for my "zi-lian-ly-ness" Cos it's my 1st time! Any comments do speak out ya. Wahahahaha. Wearing that purple half jacket again. Hahaha. But I love it! Still have not bought the shoes though. Too bad I cant wear what I wanted, pink and green... But black and purple is nice! (gothic style) Mine will be elegant gothic. Whahahaa.








Tomorrow I'm having choir practice! But not singing. It's dancing session. Yay. As I still remember, my form teacher asked the class who was performing for 20th anniversary.. And my class shouted my name -.- Obviously I freaked out lah and told the teacher I wasnt. My teacher was kinda shocked that I was not performing. HAHAHA. This shows that................. :DDDD

I'm still enjoying my post exam syndrome... Lalala!

Was a weekend! Whee! Really really love such weekends where you get to be out almost the entire day! There's one more coming up... EMERGE!!! I've been waiting for one whole year and it's here again! YAY! And this time it's in expo! (instead of squeezing into Jurong West main audi) As I still recall the times where we have to queue in the stuffy carpark, stairway... And if the audi is full, have to go to the overflow room! :(( But I believe there will be no such thing in expo! WAAHAHHAHAA.

After service, went for lunch. Hahaha. A sad lunch. Shall not share. But do ask me if you're concern. Wahahaha. Went back to hall 8 to help out in being "fans" of a band... Cos this band, D2D (dust to destiny) got into the emerge talent time finals! And they're in the same zone as me! Hope they'll win! Hehehe.

Everytime on the way home, I would worry what homework is incomplete and would be so so worried. Now, I dont have to. Enjoying the few moments of my life. Heh.

And so tomorrow school starts. Honestly, I'm glad that it's not lesson time. Having this managing stress and time course. I kinda anti it because................. Hahahaha. But oh well, just sit in and hear lor.

Gonna have dinner with family now! I'M HUNGRY!

Wow wow wow. What an exciting night.. It was great! And yes I'm taken to another level! Love such events. Always being stirred up and brought back to be on fire! Spiritually excited but physically worn out... Yawn....

Took the train home, sat beside Lisa and Benny.. Both of them added together means, STOMACH PAIN. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Especially for Benny, he's the lame one.

Lisa: Erm, do you have bluetooth?
Benny: No, my teeth are all white..

Took me 5 mins to calm myself down. But they continued with their lame conversation. Hahaha, it's nice know such people lah.. Brightens up your life! Can't wait to have another train ride together with them!

Tomorrow would be another long day! So excited! Always expecting something great! :DD

Ok, I'm seriously kinda bored over here. Feel like studying but all my notes are in school! Hahaha. Yay! Normal lesson resume next week! Can't wait for lessons.. And it will my back to studying again!

It's been AGES since I went to town during the weekends. So if anyone is interested, please do ask me along ok? But I might be not free though. HAHA! I also dont know what to do... Miss those times we had together. Really, really, hope we can go out again one day. (hope you know who I'm talking about, nine-hundred and eighty five :DD)

Yummy! Eating my mom's porridage. Her cooking is so good! I wonder how am I gonna inherit her skills. Hope that the food I cook will be as nice as hers. Lalala, mommy rawks! Whee!

Later doing some special mission... Hehehe. And going to expo after that! A long weekend for me! Going to expo today, tomorrow and on Sunday! Very troublesome but, I like it! Yeap, believing that I'm gonna grow to the next level. Exploring new realms, encountering new problems and breaking through!

Back from POS practice! Hahahaha. So fun can. Didnt do much lah. But the dancer is chorographing another dance for us! :\ Waste our time learning... Dont really like last mintue changes.. But anyway, HAD SO MUCH FUN :) Doing handstands, tossing each other around. Hehehhee. I learnt the boys dance! I bet I lost some weight. Whee!

Ya, so I'm kinda of tired. Tomorrow is another long day. (long day of sleeping!) But it feels so funny. Suddenly not studying. Feel like going to KAP to study. HAHAHAHA. Argh. I think I'm prepared for my results. I promise, no more sobsobs! But I will learn from my mistake and do even more better next time!

I was reminded during the conversations I had with the POS people. Life is like taking an aeroplane.. Not knowing where you are going, you'll finally reach that destination. In the passport, the place you're going is of great *dont know what word to use* Your flight is already confirmed but you just don't know where you're going... It shows that in everything, it is predestined! I believe for me, I will do well one day! And of course I will do my very best! :DD I'm looking forward for that miricle to happen...

Kinda tired already. Yawn..

Was kinda late last night so I didn't blog about yesertday. Hohoho, had a fun time! After our dnt/art paper. We went home to quickly dumb our bags and change into our comfortable clothes! You wont wanna know the details. You'll find them boring. Hahaha. The purpose of going out was to find something to wear for 20th Anniversary. It's my 1st time okay. So I wanna dress my best! :) But sadly, didnt find anything that suited me... Oh well, but I bought a belt and a new wallet! We went to Bugis Junction, Sim Lim Square, Mustafa and Esplanade! Had a very fun time!



















My dinner... chicken rice.

















I like the light.. it's so creative! (at the esplanade rooftop)









Beautifaul night view of Singapore!









Kinda of tired now... Later still need to go for POS practice. But tomorrow is a public holiday! YAY! Time to relax and laze around!

And what a lovely conversation I had with you just now. It has made my life more worth living for. I really feel SO much better and I think you for it! Hope things on your side would be ok and same for me! Wanna let you know, I LOVE YOU and thank you for everything! Really
apprEciate it! HEHEHEHE! And I think I can sleep soundly tonight. Thanks for existing in my life!

Today's chemistry was totally =.= I wonder why I worried so much for that paper. It turned out to be much easier than I thought. Heh, but I wont promise fantastic marks though..

Question: What is the process that cause rusting?
My Answer: Corrosion. (ARGH! the answer is oxidation.)

No fair! I remembered I studied on it but I forgot during the exam! Seesh.. Oh well, it's over and no use complaining about. I learn from it and do better the next time round! Tomorrow there's D and T paper. Grrr, last year's SA2, I got 67/100 and the teacher wrote very good. I was so -.-'' So poor lor! Trying to make fun of me. Heehee. Whatever.

Seriously this time round I don't feel bad cos I know I've tried my best! However, there is always room for improvement... I think next time I will not even blog. Haha. 24/7 staring at my books.

Thanks for you motivation! I know I've been letting you down these past few weeks. Real sorry about it. I also have been so hostile towards you, I just don't know what's wrong with me. Tried to find chance to talk to you today but slipped it. But I know that my life would be so different without you... Thanks for everything :)

Okay, time to take a nap!

Amaths is chicken feet!

I would like to take that phrase back. I screwed up for the whole paper except a few questions. If you're disappointed in me, I'm terribly sorry and please forgive me. I hope I'll have another chance and I'll do better. I know I have been progressing each time.. I believe next time I will do better! No more sobsobs for me! :DD But really, I have never study that hard before an exam before. I ought to be proud of myself! Please don't mock at me when the results are back.

Angel and me! I look super stressed right? After hours of amaths, thinking that it's chicken feet. Seesh...


Yes and I went crazy after the paper today. Went to Weiya's house to chill a lil. Casted all my worries away! Played Fatal Frame and I fell asleep halfway. And I was woken up by slience -.- So after that we chatted for awhile. And went off! Still thinking of amaths. Amaths, amaths..

We stare..

We kiss!

I don't know what's wrong with me. As I was reminded by the things I had around me, I recalled the times we had togehter. I'm just so sorry. Why have I change in the way I treat you? You don't deserve to be treated that way cos you're so nice. But why have I changed my mindset about you? Still don't know what to do. Hope time heals......

So tomorrow is Chemistry! Hahaha. Reminds me of SOMEONE :)) Byebye/

Maybe studying in front of the comp is not that bad after all. Cos I need music obviously and I need to talk abit. Well, I almost ok with amaths except for trigo and log. ARGH! I sometimes wonder why we must learn it? Like what can a sine curve help me in life next time? I'm really puzzled.. Maybe I will? Just that I don't know yet. I hope.. Well and I'm always motivated by the people around me. Without them, I won't know in what state I would be at now...

Because Sister Angel's maths teacher kept telling her to drop amaths. And obviously is because her amaths wasnt good. Despite knowing the fact that she's bad in amaths, she proved the whole world wrong! She practiced and practiced like never before and guess what... She got A1 for amaths! *kowtow* So, I must psycho myself! Amaths is chicken feet, amaths is chicken feet! Yeah! So amaths wont kill me, I KILL AMATHS!

Thanks for the motivation ya... *winks* ;)

And I had a bad fall this morning. Boohoohoo. Wanted to cry but cannot lah. Paiseh. Hehe. Hope I still can write tomorrow or else my revision will all go down the drain! HEHE. I shall continue!!

Today's service was great! Managed to grab the front rows!! Yay. And for the 1st time in many many weeks, I strolled into the hall and it felt good! But of course I have to be early next week liao.. If not it would be unfair for the other members. Yeap...





I decide I should add more pictures everytime I blog. Won't that be more intresting? My reflection from the 2nd story of expo hall 4! (if im not wrong)









And I saw this in expo! It took me loads of courage to take this photo okay. I excluded Nathan.. SORRY :) I feel like tearing the poster down and put it in my room. -.-












So paiseh but happy! :DD









I was bored waiting for the bus in the way home. Outside Ngee Ann Poly!





Just 3 more days and I have temperory(sp) freedom! HAHAHA! But for the next exams, I will work harder! Think smart, word hard! (HEY! it rhymes!) It's been a long time since I went to town with Sister Angel.. Miss those times. I was kinda shocked. My eyes were like O.O At least I solved the problem. Hope things are okay now. Heh...

Time to serve amaths. Yes master...

It's early in the morning and why am I still blogging? I have no idea too. My bed is in a terrible mess and I can't sleep, despite being sleepy. Well for now, just want you to know more about me..

FEAR is when I see lizards
HAPPINESS is when I have the sense of assurance from my loved ones
ANGER is when people lie to me, or hid something cos they not doing the correct thing
EXCITEMENT is when I'm at the backstage, preparing to perform!
DISAPPOINTMENT is when everyone's trust is no longer in me
EMBARASSED is when I wear the wrong clothes or when my smile is so fake in a photo
IRRITATED is when a person talks too much and never keep his/her comments to his/herself
LOVED is when I know you're there for me and tears begin to fill my eyes :)

Hope you like what I share! Pardon me for any grammatical errors. And yes I'm going to sleep. GOODNIGHT!

Okay, at least I'm blogging 1 time today. I realise I have become addicted to blogging! Argh! I hope the habit will die off soon and I wont be so stucked up onto the computer. Heehee. But isnt blogging good? I can share my life with everyone of you! (who ever would be reading this)

Anyway this morning went to Peien's house for cgm.. I love her house man! Hehehe. She has this big dining table and if the sofa stays there, I'll be willing to study there for hours. Hoping that that was my house. Hehehehe. Somemore the location so good!!! And cgm was great! Living in God's abundance. I have to renew my mind as my world is formed by the way I think. Make faith something that you do, not just a concept. I believe my life has changed after today's cgm, definately.

After cgm we hanged out in the area for awhile... Sister Angel went to cut her hair. Was pretty long. Waited for like 1 hour plus. But had a fun time though! And after that, headed to KAP *again* to study! But I love KAP! I have no idea why I don't get sick of going there everyweek. But I actually prefer nus. Hahaha. Some shots taken...







By the way I've learnt a new equation today...
amaths = headache











Flipping through all the notes. I have to keep telling myself, "amaths is never hard!" (changing my mindset)


Sometimes I think I have to imagine that the exams are asking stoopid questions in order to do them. Hahaha, just like my physics paper. But seriously for physics, you study real hard and they come out with some simple questions. (hopefully I did well if not people may start thinking that I only boast around) And so for my amaths, chemistry and dnt, they're all asking stoopid questions! (see, it's a changing of my mindset.. heh..) So, I'll be praying hard that I can do the papers okie? Of course study too. Yeap! And I can have an enjoyable SHORT holiday after SA1.

Whee! Tomorrow there's service! Durh, which week dosent have service? And TeeTee's coming! I hope I can enjoy myself just before studying. People from 4n2, no fair! They have Monday as a "holiday"!! So good, they have the whole day to study for chemistry. There are pros and cons. Hehe.

Time to flip through the notes again and sleep!

Presenting.....

!!!!!!

Yes I'm excited! Woohoo. Nothing can contain my excitment. Erm, fyi, I'm NOT watching the concert. I'll probably just be dropping by to purchase their CDs. But still, YAY!!! I love hi-5! How I wish I was born later so that I can love hi-5 without being mocked at.

And so I am reminded to study hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Time to hit the notes. Hahaha. I'm gonna study logarithm. I hope during my major exams I won't be that distracted. I'll lock the computer and force myself to forget the password.. -.- Hopefully tmr after cgm got chance to study. My room is my playground. Hahaha.

Okay, I'm really gonna stop blogging for today. STUDY, MARIA, STUDY!!!

I was having a sore throat on and off and I wonder what caused it. NOW I KNOW. Mango pudding! My mom made a lot. And now my throat is so painful! *coughcough* But they're nice! :DD

Enough of editing this blog. Hahahaa. It's very hard to stop. Trust me.. Oh well, I shall continue after my exams! Yay! Okie, time for my sleep before my intense intense(in studying) weekend. I thought that weekends were for me to rest but......... NEVERMIND. No matter what, I LOVE the weekends!

Snore Snore.

Here!! New blogskin! Hahaha. A least there's something different. Not really up to my standerd though. Well, I will improve as the days go by! I think a white background is better. Won't spoil your eyes. (see I'm such a thoughtful person!) Hahaha. You might have problems seeing the previous entries as I'm lazy to change the colour. Hehehe. Give me comments ya. But please dont say..

I prefer your old blogskin... cos that would not work! :)

Had my Chinese paper. Urgh. Finally it's over! During exams, I worry about my Chinese the most. Cos I know I wont do well. Hehe. But I think it's alright lah. Another killer paper would be amaths. ARGHH! At least I have the whole weekend to study over it. Thank you time table setter, whoever you are.

I still can't believe it! Why are things turned out to be this way? I'm so confused. As I recalled the fun times we had together... How I wish those times would come again. Those times, I really enjoyed myself. It was probably the happiest time of my life! Oh well, they're now all in the past.

Better start on my D and T, amaths and Chemistry! And soon! PLAY! (only for awhile :\)

Aisah wasnt ready. HAHA.








SiShi and ME!!!!!








I was doing transformation,








still doing,








STILL DOING! (see how much I struggled and pulled through)








Angel and me! Love her to the core :) *thanks for helping me in my studies! it really helped!*



HI-5 is coming to expo! *screams* Yay! I'm gonna buy they're cds like crazy. Hope no one will like stare at me. But there's nothing wrong right? Cos hi-5 started out when I was 9. Oh well, hope those people will understand. Hahahhaa.

Okay, I'm really gonna sleep now...

Most of the papers are done! I don't really feel that stressed as before. In fact, I really enjoyed the exams! Yeah, I should take my exams as enjoying myself! Just hope the results won't terrify me.

How I wish everything can be reaveled. I won't need to know if it is true a not. I want some power to see through everything and everyone! So that I don't have to worry.

20th anniversary is coming! But why must it fall on the 3rd of June?! I dont wanna miss the night session of emerge! I wonder why must the school make this so big? Hmm, we're only moving out what. I don't see other schools doing that. And we use a lot of money lor. Hahaha. But I'm kinda excited what to wear. I love wearing formal stuff. Dont have a chance. (no wedding dinner or whatsoever)

Chinese paper tmr :\ Hope I can maximise my time in it. Heh.. I know a secret though... COPY AND PASTE! The previous time I did it, I passed okay! Was so happy. Oh, have to bring dictionary. SO HEAVY CAN.

Sleep then study...

When somebody loved me

everthing was beatiful

every hour spent together lives within my heart

And when she was sad

I was there to dry her tears

And when she was happy, so was I

when she loved me

Through the summer and the fall

we had each other that was all

just she and I together

like it was meant to be

And when she was lonely

I was there to comfort her

and I knew that she loved me...

And so the years went by

I stayed the same

but she began to drift away

I was left alone

but still I waited for the day

when she'll say, "I will always love you"

Lonely and forgotten

never thought she looked my way

and she smiled at me and held me just like she used to do

Like she loved me, when she loved me

When somebody loved me
everthing was beatiful
every hour spent together lives within my heart

when she loved me......

Touching song isnt it? Well, I'm somehow in this situation. I'm not les lah -.- This song is from toy story 2. This cowgirl doll was abandoned by her onwer. Yeah, sad song...

If I didn't really do well for this exam, please don't blame me. Just so very distracted by the things happening around me. I now realise how important my peers are to me. Not say I'll do very bad lah. But I know it's not the best one. Hope my actual major papers won't have such terrifying situations around me.

Tomorrow it's maths paper 1! I can't live without my calculator! But should be can lah. As long as I have confidence in myself :D As I said, it's not the result you're learning from, it's the process! The process taught me to be persistant and to manage time and energy well.

So how am I coping with my situation? Hmm, now really well. But as each day passes by, I'm feeling better. Time heals. Cool. I hope that this is actually a dream so that I can get out from me. Me and my mouth :\ "I wanna dream"

Oh well, THAT vision burned out. I hope one fine day it will ignite again though. I could feel the burden as you screamed and shouted at us and I very much wanted to ask the people not to talk back to you. Nevermind.

Time to study.

Today had maths and physics! For maths, we went to the hall. Kinda cool. I dropped my water bottle and the whole hall could hear it. Hehehe. Maths was OKIE lah. Hey, it's the 1st time taking exactly the same paper as the express okay. Won't have very promising results though. There were some questions I totally blacked out on. Never seen them my whole life :/ Oh well, this is not the end. I can always try harder! I always learn from the process! Not the result! (recalls studying yesterday for 6 hours...) Hmm, physics was rather easy though. Quite surprised lah. I learnt so much about the thermometer but never come out :/ Generally I'm ok. I feel that I'm actually more prepared than previous times. I shall progress!





Feel so bad being so hostile towards to you. In fact, I really don't want anything to happen to you. Can't bear to see the consequences. But, there's nothing I can do. You can mock at me but I just hope that one day you'll finally know why...

The two issues running through my mind. Why happen during an exam? Learning how to manage my capacity? I hope.

I wanna hide in a corner and cry, "Someone, help me please!"

Back from studying! I have successfully studied for 6 hours! From 2pm-11pm miuns 3 hours cos I had dinner and rested for awhile. But I'm very happy and proud :DD One of the most fruitful studies I've ever had. Thank you w325 :)

However, the thought kept running through my mind.. Why are things like that now? Everyone's right, you have indeed changed. Sometimes I just wanna give up. I really don't know what to do. Why am I so badly affected by it? The happiest moments of my life has become the most disappointing part of my life.
.

So tired. But I can't sleep. When I close my eyes, I begin to imagine the bad things. Save me from this crazy world!

The world is crazy. Everything's so crazy. Why things have to turn out to be so complicated? I don't know what to do. Help you, igrore you or be so angry at you? All these while I have be in a way, cheated.

Notice when anyone asks me about me and the person I quarreled with, I didn't say I was correct. I just told the whole story. So, it's up to you to decide who's in the right or in the wrong.. I didn't say anything. Mock at me for all I care.

Later going to nus to study! Yay. My aim would be studying for 7 hours. Hmm, you think it's enough. I can go around ans ask my cg members for help! Whee. Esp maths... and for no particular reason. I just wanna simply, SHINE LIKE STARS :DD

I hope time passes by quickly and all these would be in the past. The truth is, I can't bear to see you suffer. Could not really sleep. I might be hostile towards you but I'm really worried for you. I don't want anything to happen to you.

Oh well, time to pack my books and make my way to nus! :))