Merry Christmas, with love

Eventually, I didn't have to work on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! Woohooo! Urgh, it's always so tempting to agree to cutting me off for that shift. Kinda persisted that I wanted to still work tomorrow but oh well, just take it as a rest day for me :) Which means, I have already finished using up my PH :(

Anyway, had a Christmas gathering with clique yesterday! It was a good meetup because all were present! :) Can't believe that we still keep in contact after 4 years from graduation.

Had to share this... Acelyn looks soooooo good!! :)

A really nice poloroid shot of all of us!!

And because I didn't have to work today, I finally had the chance to attend CHC's Christmas service!! Wow, really miss those people there. Especially those from choir! URGH! Regret not taking photos with a couple of them :( They were the group that I could not bear to part with at that time. It was a funny feeling generally though. Not exactly feeling "home" at the place I have grown for 7 years... Maybe I easily adapt to an environment. But I will always remember where I had come from and I owe it to everyone I had come across with! :)

Was within 2 metres of my idol and I think she saw me!! :( Too bad I didn't have the courage to just step up to her and wish her a Merry Christmas... I mean, it would be SO weird if she totally didn't know me at all(though I heard that she knows this girl "Maria" exists! hehe). Oh well, I'm sure there will be other opportunities to meet her up close one day :)

At least, I also got to spend some face time with my BFF :D

Urgh, it irritates me to think of my upcoming shifts! I just want the 8th of Jan to come! I'M BLOODY EXCITED!!!!!!!

Self-shots

All thanks to Elson & KerYuan, I got some rather nice shots while performing! Really good that I can keep them so that I can show my children next time when they totally do not believe that I used to perform blah blah...

If you think the hair with bangs looks weird, it's because the wig is actually supposed to be shoulder length. But the director wanted me to have my usual hair length. So yeah, I just lub the wig over my hair during scene changes. I hope I did play the 2 different roles well. Been watching some video clips of my performance and I think there is so much room for improvement! :)

Had my ward party yesterday. We had a lot of good food to eat! :D With Lina dear!!

The most ultimate crazy game. Hehehehe.

I'm still trying to get used to work once again. Urgh, I need time to adapt!! Seesh! 1 year since I stepped into the ward! Time to buck up my performance! Shoot man! I'm actually quite disappointed with myself. Maybe I just have way too high expectations of myself in work. I just want to be firm enough to make decisions and have so much knowledge in everything.

I hope the working days will be better. Christmas is around the corner. Time to buy stuff!!! WOOHOO! I'M GONNA SPEND MONEY LIKE CRAZY! And oh, gonna work on Christmas eve and Christmas day. Planning to sing carols and random songs to my patients! Just wanna bring love and hope! Hehehe! So fun!! :D

NYP's 20th Anniversary Musical- Homecoming

WOOHOO! Finally it's over! From July till now! I will miss all the intensive rehearsals though :( But I'm also quite happy to return to work! Hehehe :D

Hmmm, I hate my voice! Seriously! I always feel that I can't control it well! I must say what I delivered on the 2 days wasn't my personal best. It's either people are too nice to have compliments or I'm a perfectionist when it comes to singing. Anyway it's over! I don't need to care about it anymore! Hehe.

Some photos to share! :D

The girls during mic check!

The SoundCard peeps!!

Heheheh! Woohoo! I love Shing Min!! :)

Invited both my sisters as well! I'm glad they enjoyed! Hehe. I'm sure now when I need day offs to have performances, they will give it to me! :P

My parents who always support me!

The nursing classmates!! Whee! So happy when they appeared "behind"!

Juicez peeps!! :)

This bunch never fail to support my in every performance I am in! :) And now, ShaoYu is the performer!! Hehehe!

I love this awesome director, Uncle Terrence!!!

Little did I know that this secondary school classmate would be acting with me! (yeah, and thanks to Barry for laughing so loud when Shao Yu shouted at me in the show)

The beautiful dancers :)

Treasa dear!!! :D

Finally I indulged on McSpicy!! YUMMY!!!

The awesome singer!!!

I have definitely ended the year 2011 with a big bang!! What lies ahead in 2012? I have totally no idea. But I am gonna have aspirations, and achieve them! Life is really all about realising the power of the dream. Wow...

Standby Mode

Rehearsals have been crazy. REALLY CRAZY. I have been going to NYP almost everyday for the past 2 weeks! Phew!! But..... I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THE SHOW IS TOMORROW ALREADY!!!! Arghhh!! OMGOMGOMG! I feel really nervous. One of the biggest role I have ever played. Even though I'm not played the lead, I enter in 12 scenes out of the 13 scenes!!!! It's really draining!

Anyway I should stop complaining, because I really love what I love doing :) I'm so happy that I have friends supporting me too! (you know who you are) What I really hope for now is to have perfect articulation of lines, good pitching and singing(not straining kind), the right emotions and mood of the various scenes, being very into character and the comfort in engaging the audience during the 2 actual days!

I MUST BREAKTHROUGH AND DO EXTRAORDINARILY WELL! :) They told me that that know I will shine on the actual day. Thanks for the encouragement, but I really hope it will happen :) Grace of God, grace of God!!!

Anyway in between rehearsals, I had some fun because it is also my annual leave period!! Photos to share! :)

Went to Botanical Gardens with the youth peeps! It was really fun just hanging out!!

Random group in church! I love the Christmas decorations!

Some rehearsal photos! Waiting backstage while waiting for our turn!!

The big grand stage!!! Tomorrow I will no longer be seeing empty chairs already!! *stress*

Treasa and I during preview!!

After Saturday's performance, it will be back to reality. But I'm quite happy to return to work! Provided that it is not crazy. My sister never give me PH at all for Christmas and New Year :( Which means I will have 4 "extra" off days brought over next year!!! Good! Good!!

I'm just praying very hard for a good show :) Really.

My Days In NYP

If you were to ask me to act out scene 11 of HomeComing Musical right now, I think I could do it perfectly... I really miss my studying days! Going to the library and cramping all the shitz into my brain and going off for rehearsals during the exam period!

Did almost exactly that today(yesterday). It has been about a year since I last stepped into the library! It was good sitting down and doing the stuff I ought to do.

Even a bunch of Nursing students sat beside my table. They were frantically revising for their skills test(one of the horrors in nursing). It seemed so complicated to them but to me, it's just a simple procedure I do in the ward. Wow, it made me realized that I've grown so much! :)

So, we have been and we are having pretty intensive rehearsals for the big show! For me, I got really tongue twisted. Seriously, why does it ALWAYS happen to me?! Hope it will be better with more practice!

I love spotlights! :) It somehow gives me the confidence! Looking forward to better acting!

I can do it!! I thank God for His grace :)

I'm listening to the instrumental of Rainbow Connection played on the keyboard by one of my SoundCard junior. It really sounds good. Oh man, it's giving me the feeling! COME ON MARIA! You can do it! :) Really at this point of time, it is good to just reflect back and ponder why on Earth I am in this musical. Why??? Hmmm.

I got news that there would be this "Homecoming" musical on the day I watched 881 the musical. Hehe. I told myself back then that I MUST be involved in it because that is the only platform that I can do what I really like. Act, sing, dance. Let the audience feel my emotions. Make them laugh, tear, be in awe. Where I can do quick changing, put on pretty make up, have lights shining on me, seeing myself in programme booklets, posters. Be with the people I love :) 2 weeks to SHOWTIME. GOSHHHH!

As compared to the others I've been through, this musical seems different. In a slightly negative sense of course. Though I must say that the story is one of the best to me, not forgetting the stage settings and the beautiful songs in it. The spirit, feeling might be different. But you know what is gonna stay the same? Shining on stage! Yes! It will be one of the best I've done so far! I don't care!!!

I really can't wait for the moment when I'm on stage the actual day, starting off the whole musical! :)

I thank God for such a timely annual leave (planned by me of course). Been going out since day one! Went to the airport to see dear Sheryne off!! Will miss her for a whole month!!

I have yet to go on a proper shopping trip!!! It's okay! I have many days of leave left!! :)

20 more days

This is no joke. 20 more days till the actual day of the musical! But you know what, I still can't get into character. Like seriously, I don't know why! I know they are not pin-pointing me. They want the best out of me but I have seem to have let them down every single practice. You know what, I have never received any positive feedback on my acting since day 1. So what if I had past experiences? If you act bad, means you act bad. I hate myself sometimes...

I'm getting quite sick and tired of all these. I have never been so stressed about performing before. I really need a breakthrough.

Today in church, everyone is supposed to write down their desires/wishes for Christmas this year. Well, I didn't participate in it but what I really wish deep down in my heart is to be a good actress. This is all that matters to me for now.

I'm really glad that my annual leave is round the corner. I can really have the time to be at home and work on my character and lines. I feel that sometimes being so tired from work hinders me from practicing on my own.

At the end of the musical, I just wanna look back and be so darn proud of myself that I have broken through(if theres such a word).

God, please help me. I want a breakthrough desperately.

Bad To Work Tomorrow!

Woohoo! Had an awesome weekend! I finally had a whole weekend to enjoy after a long time! Yay! I just need to work for another full week and two days before my annual leave!! Finally! Taking a long good break since I started work! But it will be all dedicated to musical rehearsals. Heh. Nevertheless, I'm still gonna make room for shopping. I need to SPEND SPEND SPEND!!!

Last night I attended ShaoYu's 21st birthday celebration! The venue very much reminded me of the parties the girls from Gossip Girl would go. Hehehe. Just didn't have the time and energy to dress glam enough. Heh...

Mighty 4 of us! :D

The NYP Homecoming casts who attended!!!

My darling SiShi :D

The usual bunch of us!! After 4 years we still see each other!!

Woke up today with scenes of me acting in one of the scene of the musical. I think I got the inspiration! So simple! All I had to do was to visualize! I tried practicing at home already, I hope I can portray it really well during the rehearsal tomorrow!! OMG SO SCARY! Less than a month to showtime and we are not even halfway done! :O I need to rely more on God's strength. God, if You have placed me through this, it means You know that I can do it well!! Yes, I will have a breakthrough!!!

I CAN DO IT, YES I CAN!

:(

One of the days I find out that I cannot work under pressure and with a heavy workload. Sigh. Really shows how incompetent I am :/ Really hope I can improve and work darn well! Buck up Maria, buck up!!!

Photoshoot tomorrow! Gonna be a tiring day! Well, a least JCI is over! To be honest, I kinda teared a little when everyone in the auditorium applauded each other for the hard work. Wow, I feel so belonged in this organisation. Or maybe I was just being extremely emotional. Heh....

Sleep is my best friend :)

JCI and Rehearsals!

Wooooo! It's been a really crazy because I was/am required to work from Monday to Friday mornings this week! It's no joke when you have rehearsals on Monday and Wednesday evenings where I would usually reach home at 12plus and only sleep for a good 4 hours! At least for now I only have one more day to work before my FULL WEEKEND! WAHUHUHUHU!

A lil sneak peek of my character :P

So for the past few days, I've been struggling to memorize my lines. Not only that, trying so, so hard to get into character :/ Sometimes I think I'm a really lousy actress. Can't even pick up different roles. Still, I think I will be darn good in being the ensemble cast for Wicked. HAHAHA! Just that my dancing isn't that fanstastic...

But seriously from then, where will I go? :) Where will this path take me? I'm really excited and I hope I will be given more and more opportunities to perform. Ya, thinking of it already makes me feel so excited!!

Tomorrow will be the end of JCI(audit thingy). Finally, all the preparation we have gone through will be worth it! So far, I have attended 2 of the debriefs by the JCI committee and what I can see really is the great teamwork by all the staff from KK! It's really nice to see all the departments gathering together and cheering each other on! :) ONE MORE DAY! We can do it! :) And of course I hope we will get it because I really want to belong to a hospital with such good standards. Not forgetting the incentives ;)

So yeah!! I'm learning to treasure my sleep more! :)

Love

It's really funny how I long to be in musicals with a role that requires me to fall in love. But too bad, I have yet to have a chance, unless you want to consider "Summer Nights" that I did with Fadzly. But to me it's not counted cos the song is abit cheesy. Hahaha.

Without "gambling" your heart away, acting in love is the best way to feel love. Really. Okay I know I'm a loser, haha. Cos I have never experienced such love before. What's more, I can sing it in a song, have a really romantic backdrop, be really pretty and hold those hands. You know, how we imagine love is VERY different from reality.

During rehearsal today, I was totally mesmerized when they did "Endless Love". But if I was given a chance, I think I would act and respond way better than her. HAHAHA! Not saying that she is lousy or what but I can totally feel it man. It's like inside I've been dying to fall in love.

I don't think it's wrong to fall in love. Everyone deserves it. Will it happen to me? God knows. And I leave it all to Him.

At the meantime, I can still dream to play a role that can fall in love in a musical one day...

"Two hearts that beat as one, our lives has just begun..."

Happy Weekend!

More like a happy Saturday! Heh.. So Sidney came over to LifeUnited! Well, I might have overreacted the moment he stepped into the room. Okay, it's not because I have a girly crush(like other typical girls~) on him on whatever. But I just could not believe my eyes! Someone like me, would have the chance to share the stage with someone so big making music for God! It really shows how God can still use this small church to do His works!

Love the music team :)))

Some other people awesome people to share :)

Roy and Elson! I'm really looking forward to the greater LifeUnited adventures with them!!!!

And dear KerYuan, who has changed so much!! Happy to see her really connected to God and serving so actively in the house of God!!!

I can't wait for our 1 year Anniversary. There's definitely so much to look back to. Ultimately, God is amazing. With so little we have, we are still able to run a church! I'm REALLY excited of what's ahead! WOOHOOO!!

November

Oh my goodness!! 2 more months before the year ends! Time flies man, time flies... There's so much to reflect about. Basically I would wanna share 3 aspects of my life that occurred this year!

1) Moving to LifeUnited.

So, last Saturday was already the 38th service (yes, we treasure every single service) since 12 February. I remember in January that I was seriously in a dilemma if I should go or not. And I (anyhow) made that decision to be part of this new church! I can proudly say that it was a decision that I did not regret! It was painful letting go of so many things back there. But sometimes you just gotta let go in order to grab something even better. The main takeaway that I have learnt during the services is that I am graced to be where I am right now. I need not do any extravagant to earn His love for me because God has already loved me and all I need is to be thankful.

2) My career in KKH.

I am very happy to be where I am right now! Even though working as a new staff had many ups and downs, I am still here, alive! I am very thankful for the favour upon me. Well, I hope the favour is because of my attitude and how well I am able to work. I am not perfect though. I still make mistakes. I still struggle with the carelessness in me. But that's okay. Everyday when I step into the ward, I learn something new about work and myself.

3) Having 5 major performances in 2011.

Everyone knows that I would give up anything just to perform :) 'Our Tampines Story', 'Great World Family Fun', National day shows for Woodlands and Tampines have all given me so much experience and exposure on acting/singing. And I owe it all to Uncle Terrence! It's like why on Earth he would choose me. My acting is seriously bad. I have no background in acting. But he just never gives up on me. Even for 'Homecoming' in December, he just believes that I can play such a complicated role(well, to me it's really complicated). And I never wanna let him down. Over the past few days, I've been practicing really hard on the bitchy role. I hope I can show it good for tomorrow's rehearsal!!

Will there be more next year? I don't know. But I am already awed by all the opportunities given to me this year :)

Yeah, so that's my 2011 for you. The thing I'm looking forward to before 2012 is my year-end bonus. WAHAHAHAHAHHA! Jeez! I am sooooo money minded!

Parents Appreciation & other random thingys

On Sunday, the youths in LifeUnited held an event to simply appreciate our parents. So, my Dad came along!

One word I can describe that day: "Divine". It was really divine and God-planned.

Watching the video of my best friend really makes me miss her a lot :( Anticipating her return on 14 Dec!!

Urgh, going for vocal training, then coming home to catch some sleep before doing my night shift. And then, going to send Mom off to Germany! Sigh, she has such a good life!

Ok, which me luck! Hope she won't scold me for not being able to hit the notes! :/

Death

I got to know a bit more about death through real experiences the past few days. I guess when it comes to faith, what you believe is what you will get. I can have people telling me that some black white spirit is bringing them "downstairs" and others saying that they see the light and Jesus. Either way, it just feels so "magical" but so true!!

First of all with all due respect, may my patients rest in peace. I'm glad that they are no longer suffering in pain. I just want to share my insights on death.

On the day before her death, I could tell that she wasn't ready for it. She just tried to be as awake as ever, asking me to slap her legs, shake her and talk to her. It is just so hard to bring it across to someone who is dying. She was very much in distress, and I told her to just be calm, close her eyes and sleep. She took it that I wanted her to go. Well, which was true but never in a bad way.

That kept me thinking... On my death bed, will I be willing to let everything go? The moment I stop breathing, where will my soul be? What will I see? According to my faith, I will go to heaven(and I thank God that I'm graced to go there). Yes, but from then on, what will happen? And since I won't have a physical brain, will I be able to think things, remember all the incidences that happened in life?

I guess I will never know unless I experience it myself. Unfortunately when it happens, I would not be able to blog it out here. Ha!!

Long Time No Update!

So I haven been updating due to the hectic schedule I'm having, but I'm glad that the week is going to be over! Phew!! Okay, so last Friday, I went to KKH's D&D @ Fairmount Hotel!! I was really a big ballroom and I had so much fun. The food was zzzzz though. The theme was "When I grow up, I wanna be....." And I tried to dress up like a rock star! Which I thought it kinda failed.

With the sweet Lina! :) She's one lucky girl cos she won 4th prize in the grand lucky draw! :)

Love the colour contrast in the photo! :)

Ward 43 babes~

And a photo with Cheryl!!

I kinda participated actively in the games, but got humiliated by the stupid emcee :( I thought I could win some prize so I sang through the mic. But in the end he was like, "Too bad I'm deaf" Ahhhh, crap. So I didn't win anything!

On Saturday, I attended Barry's 21st Birthday party!! I was one of the more happening ones I've attended! Heheh.

I love this photo with darling SiShi!

Clique!!

The whole bunch of usssss!

The party ended at 3am and I purposely stayed up and tried to sleep at 7am so that I will sleep the whole on Sunday for my night shift because I was going to USS the next day!!! WAHHOOOO!

Okay, I know it's abit stupid to go to USS on my post-night but I really had no choice and still, I managed to enjoy the rides! Just that I was quite tired and grumpy!

We actually queued up to take a photo with Charlie Chaplin!! Hehe, I look horrible in this photo. This was taken just for my Dad!!! :)

Yup, and I've been having rehearsals and vocal trainings for the NYP musical!! Woohoo! I'm really excited man! THE DATE is drawing nearer! Really man, doing shows is my kind of life. I may not be good yet but I will learn from the experiences I'm having!! Lalala dum dee dum! I hope I can invite every single person I know to watch me! :D It's just my way of impressing people! At least, it's a time where I can feel good about myself!!

Which means, I can't wait for the rehearsal tomorrow! WOOHOOO!!!