1) Need to change my attitude in 43
I guess that there has somehow been a change of behaviour since I came back from 71. Maybe too complacent? Too "lazy"? Not helping others when I can? Always complaining if I have a little more stuff to do or if no one helps me? Having a negative outlook? Giving stupid answers without thinking properly?
Lord, please help me. As always, I want to be the best person that I can be. Guide me as I go through work everyday. Help me become a better person/nurse. Let me inject positivity to everyone...
2) The responsibilities I have at work(which is outside work)
I had the "privilege" to temporarily take over the support group and I am running one event that is gonna happen in April. Wow... I am very thankful for the wonderful support that has been given to me and I hope the event will be a great success! I guess I will be heavily involved in another activity that will happen in September. I hope all goes well! *fingers crossed*
PIP project that I am assisting to oversee as well. Not that much teamwork going on but I hope that we can "close shop" and implement something amazing! I was actually quite spurred off initially but now I feel dead, because sometimes I feel that the whole whole is waiting for me to say something about it.
Working on research stuff as well! :/ My darkest nightmare is coming!!!
Lastly, the onco-trained group which somehow is a great burden to me. At times, I do feel tired initiating things. Yet, people do not like to hear me complain. I fear that when I complain, they think that I am lazy, I like to push the responsibility around. Urgh... Should I voice out? Or should I keep quiet and continue to do all these things?
3) Getting my ass to sign up as a volunteer
I have already filled up the form. Ok, it's already March. Time to submit the form!!!
4) I need to manage my emotions
Yes, we have been going out pretty often. But I just feel that he's stepping back every time I step forward. And when he steps forward, I step backward, ponder for awhile and start stepping forward. And I just get so darn emotionally affected by it. Is there anything wrong with me? Am I overdoing things? All these years I feel pretty numb to all these. But because of what another friend had mention to me in the beginning of the year, I felt things had changed. But was he saying the truth?
Lord, are you anywhere in this situation? I beg for a miracle to happen. I can't take it anymore. I'm just thinking, it's either I forget about him(naturally and not get hurt), or something to happen between the both of us. Please :( For the last time, I hope, I beg of You :(
5) Life's good with the bike
For now, I have a different lifestyle. Now that I am pretty used to it, I hope that I can be a more efficient, well-rested person. And then, I need to compensate all the walking I have done by exercising. Weekly jogs? Hmmmm... Ok, I shall hopefully make sure I do it! Yeah!
A quarter is coming to an end soon. Time really flies. I hope 2015 will be an amazing year. I want to feel that I am a better person. I want to be happy.