I was just riding home and was thinking that I would need to go to NUH for my school's palliative attachment in 2 weeks' time. I was then reminded of some 8 years ago when I had my very, very first posting in an Oncology ward. When I had just started out my nursing studies, I used to have the perception that Oncology is something "dirty". I don't know where the word came out from haha. The staff nurses in that ward also wore badges that wrote, "Proud to be an Oncology nurse". At that moment, I was thinking how could anyone say that?
Initially wanting to be a paediatric nurse, I signed up to work with the hospital I am in now. However after my paediatric posting, I did not really like to entertain parents and their nonsense. I also grew to love the old through my different attachments. I still remember having my first hospital tour of my current hospital as a student, and I remember saying, "How nice it would be if I could work here." when we walk passed by my current ward. You see, my ward would have a higher rate of elderly in the hospital because cancer occurs more in old people. I don't know if it was God's plan or of it was God's plan. I was posted to that exact same ward for PRCP. I kinda forgot about this thought until days after the results of my posting!
Fast forward, I have graduated with an advanced diploma in Oncology. I have met so many cancer patients and bade my farewells to them. From wanting to be a Nurse Clinician, I now desire to manage a nursing home/hospice in the future.
Volunteering in the hospice really opened up my heart and mind. I did not pay much attention to the hospice until I had my posting there during advanced dip. I thought that what they did was so meaningful.. I felt good when one of their staff shared about their big move to their new building at the end of this year. They way she put it was that many prayers were answered, and thanking God the move would be on schedule etc etc.
I could sense that all they wanted was a place to provide palliative patients a place to rest, rather than wanting to make money. I hope that in the future, I can bring this attitude to my colleagues and subordinates. That we genuinely would want to meet the needs of our patients and deliver care with compassion.
I don't know why but I feel so happy thinking such thoughts. As you know, I'm not the gentle gentle soft spoken kinda person people often stereotype nurses as. But strangely, I have this soft side of me that I often wanna hide from the people I know. Heehee.
I hope that I will be able to share more personal stuff here so that I can look back one day and smile to myself :)
God, what's next? Bring it on!